Weirdly paced (some scenes are way too long and drawn-out than they need to be) and seeming somewhat like a TV movie at times, Snake Eater is passable entertainment, but probably won't knock your socks off. This dovetails nicely with the film's strange obsession with feeding people live animals, and the title of the movie itself. Interestingly enough, Junior attempts to force feed Soldier's imprisoned sister a snake. One of the more disturbing things they do is gag someone with a live fish, which is actually pretty silly. If they ever make a live-action Fraggle remake (it's really only a matter of time, isn't it?) he has a job secured. Junior (Scott) is their leader, along with Slim, Jesse, Sissy, Joe, and of course Clyde, who looks like a Doozer from Fraggle Rock. While the similarities to Radical Jack (2000) are somewhat disturbing (of all the movies in the world to borrow from, why would the makers of Radical Jack choose Snake Eater?), the bayou folk really are a cross between stupid and menacing. Lamas' biker-dude image here must have proved so successful, it was parlayed not just into the Snake Eater sequels, but the TV show Renegade. He's at a roadhouse called The Cage, and he must tangle with a biker who wears a necklace made of teeth. He has plenty of catch phrases, and nowhere is the goofy humor more on display than in the comical, prerequisite barfight scene. He's so crafty he hides the surveillance wire in his mullet. Lamas never misses a chance to be shirtless and oiled up, and his snake belt buckle is usually on display. It is somewhat interesting to watch Lamas go from the city with its spray painted, run-down tenements and homeless people, to the supposedly "tranquil" countryside. Although neither Clint Eastwood or Jon Voight had to deal with "Torchy", aka Ron Palillo. This seems to sum up the mindset of the filmmakers. Surviving on his wits alone, will Soldier be able to defeat the entire inbred family before it's too late? A tagline on another poster for Snake Eater proclaims "As dirty as Dirty Harry (1971). In fact, the evil rednecks live so far up river, King and Kid trick out his beloved chopper and turn it into what can only be described as a "boatercycle".
He is helped along the way by kindly boat rental manager King (Hawkins) and his daughter, simply known as "The Kid" (Bell). When his family is attacked while on a boating trip by crazed bayou folk, and his sister kidnapped and imprisoned by said folk, Soldier must go into the backwoods to find the truth.and his sister. Soldier's also pretty handy at making booby traps. His unorthodox ways and flippant attitude really annoy all of his co-workers, including the two cops in the car clearly meant for "comic relief" and painfully undisguised exposition. "To Him, America is just another jungle." Jack "Soldier" Kelly (Lamas) is an ex-Marine (part of an elite "Search and Destroy" unit dubbed "Snake Eaters) who now works as an undercover cop in the big city. Let it be said though this is more interesting then his other efforts. Of course what we are left with in the end is yet another Lorenzo Lamas lunkhead action flick. Was actually made for television, and although the movie is fairly stupid, there are moments of such absurdity that this could very well have been the best TV show since the A-team.
(Seriously you are armed to blitz a gang of mutant hillbillies and you lose your gun!) Of course the Rambo heroics are brought full circle with lame acting, over the top action and below standard production values. Although he finds a gun in the water, which he stupidly lost in the first place.
Plus the movie is utterly ridiculous, I mean this is a movie where Lamas tries to stop a gang of gun wielding psychopaths with only a hunting knife. Indeed the title is a good chuckle since it sounds more like a porn then it does an action movie. While I never asked for this title, I wasn't all that upset. (We are never offered an explanation, although i'm guessing that it is because of a lack of anything to do.) For some reason I was "blessed" with receiving all three Snake Eater movies on DVD, of course when you are in a movie club, you often times get stuff you don't ask for. Lorenzo Lamas stars as Soldier, a police officer and former marine (I'm guessing a Grenada vet) who unleashes the fury of hell at the expense of hillbilly rednecks who for some reason kill innocent families.